Her birthday just passed. Obviously, I got her the most expensive thing I could afford.  She’s worth it.  And It amazes me still to this day. Read Pew Research on the subject.  Of marriages in the US, about 20% are interracial.  Most ever. But only 10% of those are specifically White Husband, Black Wife, as we are.   I can say two things on this matter. 

Thing the first.  I remember meeting her on our first date.  So funny.  I was so nervous to meet her that when I saw her waiting for me I almost bailed.  As it was, we instead walked down to a coffee shop and talked until they closed.  They gave us the left over donuts.  I cannot imagine life without her.  So.

Thing the Second. I don’t get it.  Some people truly truly despise us.  We’ve been yelled at, pointed fingers at, tossed profanities at, and even had ice thrown at us. Worth it.  And yet, our relationship is 10% of 20%.   I treasure it. She teaches me so much everyday about what it’s like being Black American.  But more astounding than our differences is our similarities.  We both love to try new foods. We both love to read.  We both like video games.   We both like walking for miles, visiting other neighborhoods. 

I remember on tinder (Yep! We met on Tinder back when it was new!) I saw her profile and swiped for her and then closed the app.   Either she matched, or I was going to give up.  Her. Or no one.  2 days later, we matched.   Now We are approaching 10 years since. 

So Damn the statistics.   There are values that numbers don’t show.   Like, the time I was helping Shay’s family move.  

As we were standing together in front of the house, cops showed up.  They literally just saw us all in a group in front of a house (we had wrapped up moving and were saying our goodbyes) and stopped to question us. Simply for being a large group in front of a house. As Shay recalls: “They didn’t leave until you vouched for us saying we were moving someone into the house.” 

I found this Enraging.  And that’s the greatest lesson through my relationship.  

Sh*t is Enraging. Truly enraging. We either accept that, or we work to amend it.